Pets are loyal family members who provide unconditional love, and losing your four-legged friend can be devastating. Our Shuler Veterinary Clinic team knows that losing a beloved pet is painful, and we offer tips to navigate this difficult time.
#1: Understand that grieving your pet is normal
Some people who don’t have pets may not understand your grief at losing your pet, although they would understand your grief if you lost a human friend or family member. This doesn’t mean that your feelings are not valid, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about your emotions. Your pet was a big part of your life and provided companionship and affection, and grieving that loss is perfectly normal and expected. In addition, suppressing your feelings to conform to other people’s expectations can be bad for your mental health.
#2: Express your emotions as you grieve your pet
People grieve differently, and you may feel a tumult of emotions, including sorrow, guilt, anger, or numbness. Feel free to cry, yell, or whatever you need to do to let out those emotions. Take time to acknowledge and work through your feelings, and realize that grief is not a linear process. You will likely have good days and bad days, and certain things may trigger your feelings long after you think you are past the worst pain. Give yourself permission to express these emotions.
Also, give yourself time. Some people may need only a week to get over their pet’s loss, while others may still be grieving years later.
#3: Practice self-care after losing your pet
Grief can be overwhelming and stressful, and you can easily forget about your own well-being. Remind yourself to eat and sleep regularly to prevent illness, and try every day to stay active, such as walking, running, and practicing yoga, which will help release endorphins that boost your mood. Also, practice hobbies you enjoy to distract yourself from the constant sad thoughts.
#4: Seek support after losing your pet
Talk to supportive friends and family members about your pet and how you feel about their loss. If your grief is significantly affecting your ability to function normally, consider professional help, since you may be suffering from depression. Pet loss support groups can also be extremely helpful, since you can talk to other people in the same situation.
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, which provides a chat room hosted by professional mental health experts where pet owners can safely mourn their loss, is a helpful source. They also have a video support group and several other resources to help pet owners navigate their grief.
#5: Help your child deal with pet loss
Losing a pet can be exceptionally hard on a child, especially if they are encountering their first loss. Ways you can support your child include:
- Ensure your child finds out about their pet’s death from a loved one.
- Be honest about the pet’s death, and don’t tell them the pet is simply missing.
- Include your child when making decisions about your pet.
- Encourage your child to express their emotions about losing their pet.
- Never trivialize or minimize their feelings.
- Explain how your pet died, but don’t include distressing details.
- Share your feelings of sadness with your child.
- Refrain from saying your pet was “put to sleep,” which may confuse your child.
#6: Determine how to say goodbye to your pet
You have many options for saying “Goodbye” to your pet, and planning what is best for you and your family can be comforting and helpful in the grieving process. Options include:
- Burial — Holding a funeral for your pet can help you and your family, especially children, express their feelings related to a pet’s death.
- Cremation — Some pet owners like to keep their pet’s ashes or scatter them on a favorite walking path.
- Memorials — Memorializing your pet can also help you work through the grieving process. Suggestions include writing a poem, painting a picture, making a scrapbook or memory box, and volunteering or donating at an animal shelter in your pet’s memory.
Our team has a professional relationship with Pet Rest Cemetery and Cremation Services, which offers private or communal cremation, as well as numerous funerary products and Pet Rest Cemetery plots.
#7: Think carefully before adopting a new pet
To fill your pet’s spot, you may be tempted to head to your nearest animal shelter and adopt a new pet, but ensure you are emotionally ready to welcome a new pet before acting on this impulse. Welcoming a new pet to your home before you have had time to mourn your lost pet can lead to a complicated relationship with your new pet. Then, when you are ready for a new pet, don’t feel guilty about “replacing” your lost pet. You will always have a place in your heart for the pets you have loved and lost.
If your pet’s condition necessitates an end-of-life decision, contact our Shuler Veterinary Clinic team, so we can help you navigate this difficult time or help you through the grief process.
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